Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! I'm looking forward to a great 2009!

The Little Pink Card

Man, I wish I had known about this a week ago!

Here's some handy gift guidance for the husband who needs a little help when selecting a present for his wife...a camp I am firmly in!

This little card (found out about it on the Building Camelot blog) has all the essential info you need to make an informed purchase in the "heat of battle". Is it lame to have to consult a little card to know what perfume to buy your wife? Yes! But not as lame as not buying it all because of your own ignorance...

While I am not willing to pay $9 plus shipping to have a professional one made, I will be putting this little idea to good use with a DIY card for my wallet.

The Little Pink Card

Tabernacle Model Kit

While doing an online search for model kits to give the boys for Christmas, I stumbled on this cool kit. I doubt my boys would appreciate this under the tree, but I'm thinking this would make a great family project at some point, and a great way to teach the theology of the Tabernacle.

Tabernacle Model Kit

Imprint of a Godly Man

“An imprint of a godly man on the heart of a boy forms the contours and diagram of what he needs to become. This by the way explains the reason gangs are so prevalent in urban cultures. The numbers of fatherless boys far exceeds that in the suburbs…..and the pull toward violence/cruelty is amplified in these situations. Repeat teenage pregnancies and unmarried liaisons have produced streets filled with young boys desperate for a man’s guidance…..without nature to challenge; with limited places to release energy; without a father, grandfather, or positive male mentor, the boy views the streets as his proving ground….and the wretched cycle of violence, sexual conquest, abandonment of children, substance abuse, and irresponsibility repeats itself over & over again……and what has been the norm for fatherless children in the inner city is quickly becoming the norm in the heartland”

paraphrased from “Passed through Fire” by Rick Bundschuh

Marriage Alive

Here's another marriage and family educational organization, dedicated to providing resources and training to help congregations and community groups build better marriages and families.

Their teach-right-out-of-the-box marriage education program, 10 Great Dates is used by churches, community marriage initiatives and other groups around the country and internationally as a low- key, fun, male-friendly, yet skilled-based program that appeals to the masses and to couples in any setting.

I have not read the books or gone through the series, but it does appear to be Christian-based.

Marriage Alive Website

The Armor of God

Part of creating impactful ceremonies with your kids when conducting a rite of passage or manhood/womenhood ceremony is presenting them with a meaningful, valuable keepsake.

These can be as simple as a rock picked up along the path or as elaborate as a personalized, inscribed sword. If the item carries with it symbolic meaning and reminders of the principles that have been imparted, all the better.

Here are some great items I stumbled upon that fit this description wonderfully...all based on the Biblical metaphor of "The Armor of God". These would make a great gift at any age to remind your son that he is a warrior belonging to the Army of God.

I've seen the dog tag item in person and was impressed by the quality. Check it out:

The Armor of God products

The Perfect Present

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and of course that brings the eternal question of what to get the kiddos. Although their lists are full of high-tech gadgets (even my 10 yr old wants an ipod!), I've been seriously considering going low-tech this year.

In fact, I've got an idea for the perfect present: The Stick. Here's an article about the classic toy, which recently landed in the National Toy Hall of Fame:

Curators said the stick was a special addition in the spirit of a 2005 inductee, the cardboard box. They praised its all-purpose, no-cost, recreational qualities, noting its ability to serve either as raw material or an appendage transformed in myriad ways by a child's creativity.

"It's very open-ended, all-natural, the perfect price -- there aren't any rules or instructions for its use," said Christopher Bensch, the museum's curator of collections. "It can be a Wild West horse, a medieval knight's sword, a boat on a stream or a slingshot with a rubber band. ... No snowman is complete without a couple of stick arms, and every campfire needs a stick for toasting marshmallows.

The lowly stick, a universal plaything

Thanksgiving Devotion

Wow. I was searching for a little inspiration on putting together a family devotion for Thanksgiving and I found this little jewel by Dr. Ray Pritchard. A great, concise teaching on Psalm 131, which has been described as "one of the shortest to read, but one of the longest to learn".

Buried in there is this this little prayer about simplicity:

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve;
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health, that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity, then I might do better things.
I asked for riches, that I might be happy;
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life;
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing I asked for, but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among men, most richly blessed.

What Children Can Teach Us At Thanksgiving - sermon by Dr. Ray Pritchard - November 1991

Boys Wanted

From The Art of Manliness blog:

Boys Wanted

Boys of spirit, boys of will,
Boys of muscle, brain and power,
Fit to cope with anything,
These are wanted every hour.

Not the weak and whining drones,
Who all troubles magnify;
Not the watchword of “I can’t,”
But the nobler one, “I’ll try.”

Do whate’er you have to do
With a true and earnest zeal;
Bend your sinews to the task,
“Put your shoulders to the wheel.”

Though your duty may be hard,
Look not on it as an ill;
If it be an honest task,
Do it with an honest will.

In the workshop, on the farm,
At the desk, where’er you be,
From your future efforts, boys,
Comes a nation’s destiny.

Christ in the Tetons

I've mentioned before that I've been leading a six week class going through the Raising a Modern Day Knight video series.

One of the best things about these videos are the segments where the dads and sons are taking on exciting adventures in the Grand Tetons. Having these inspiring backdrops as Robert Lewis imparts the principles from the book definitely adds impact.

The good news is that we fathers have the opportunity to have the same experience with our sons through Christ in the Tetons, an organization that provides "Father and Son Adventures".

They have just release their 2009 schedule so go check it out:

Christ in the Tetons

What's a Motto for You? (Redux)

I made a post back in February of 2007 about mottoes with a link to a site with a good collection of them complete with Latin translations. Unfortunately, I just found out the site is gone! (like that never happens on the web)

Anyway, way back then I was forward-thinking enough to capture the list in a spreadsheet and use it as a test case for a Web 2.0 application framework called Zoho. I found out that it is still live (whew!) so I am creating this post to point to it.

This is a great way to get ideas for your own family or organizational motto. Just browse the mottoes or search for a particular word:

Squires2Knights

I'm always searching for resources, articles, documents, etc. to share on this blog...and every once and awhile I stumble on something that makes me think: "how did I never see this before?"

Here is a link to such a site. Talk about being on the same wavelength! It's great to see other Christian dads out there with the same call from the Lord to spread the word about bestowing a vision of authentic manhood to the next generation of men.

From the site:

Today’s families, communities, churches and nation bear little resemblance to those of yesteryear. The onslaught of cultural changes has strained our society beyond its limits. Overwhelming evidence points to the vacuum of authentic manhood as a major cause of these issues.

Tomorrow’s hope for authentic manhood rests in today’s boys.

Today’s boys need faithful men!

They need changed men!

They need men equipped to model, teach and mentor.

On the site you'll find links to resources, products (a book and devotional guide), and a blog.

Check it out:

Squires2Knights

Respect for the Office

So I'm doing two things I try not to do:

1. Make a post on my blog with a link to a post in another blog (I link to other blogs, just not to specific posts)

2. Make a post about politics

However, this post from Graced Again summed up what I've been thinking for awhile now. Because he threw in a father/son analogy, I feel empowered to send you over there!

Romans 13 is clear that our responsibility is to submit to authorities. This doesn’t mean we have to agree with everything they do or even work to change their policies. It certainly doesn’t mean we have to reelect them in four years. It does mean that we are to show them respect as we criticize them and as we disagree, because they are the elected leader of our nation.

My best example of this is in my own family. My boys may not always agree with me. I am certainly not always respectable. They are expected, because of my position, to always respect me. They don’t have to agree with me. As they become adults they may not even have to obey me, but my position as their father should garner their respect. (I hope they are reading!)

Respect for the Office of President - Ron Edmondson

Pure Intimacy

Here's a website from Focus on the Family that brings together a lot of information in one place on sexuality, with specific sections for ministry leaders, couples, and parents.

Of special note is the section on the "Theology of Sexuality", something that ultimately informs all of our decisions around this topic: the movies we watch, if/when we let our kids date, even how we vote.

As the site says:

Although the Bible employs other analogies for God’s relationship to His people, the most common is that of bridegroom and bride. If we are created in God’s image, does this heavenly relationship have any bearing on our earthly relationships? It holds more meaning than most of us have ever imagined.

Pure Intimacy

Making Memories with Your Teen

Short, nice little article from FamilyEducation.com about time with your teen.

It's important to remember that although your teen may seem to be pushing away and sending the "I'm too cool to be seen with my parents" vibe at times, they really need us to draw closer than ever:

Teens don't want to be seen with their parents, much less talk to them or do anything with them. That's what we hear all the time. I don't buy it. I never did.
...
If you've taken the time throughout their childhood to really know and appreciate who your children are -- and to share who you are with them -- there will be many times during their teenage years when they will want the pleasure of only your company, when they will need you by their side, when they must have your arms around them.

Making Memories with Your Teen

Christian Manhood

There's something kind of refreshing about the austere quality of this workbook-style resource for training boys into men of Christian character from Plain Path Publishers.

If you and your son are used to slickly produced material with vibrant colors, "hip" graphics, and bite-sized information, you may well be underwhelmed by this meaty, no-frills presentation.

However, if you can get past the surface, you're in for some powerful Biblical principles.

Each of the chapters gives an overview of a principle, specific examples, Biblical underpinning, exercises & questions to discuss, and (my personal favorite) a personal evaluation section.

I don't agree with everything in every section, and much of it will seem a bit "old-fashioned" at first glance--but that has more to do with our cultural norms than with the material itself.

Overall a great resource to help you and your son set manhood goals.

Christian Manhood
Author:	Gary Maldaner
ASIN:	B0019M4A86
Genre:	Religion & Spirituality/Christianity
Recommended:	Yes
Score:	8 out of 10
Summary:	A Guide for Training Boys to be Spiritually Strong Men

Chess for Kids

I think I've been bitten by a bug I haven't had in years: playing chess!

I have distinct memories of my dad sitting in the living room for hours wrestling with a "computerized" chess board (personal computers were a new thing in those days). I never could beat the guy when we would play, but I always enjoyed the time together.

I've played with my kids at various times through the years, but I have never really been challenged to improve my game...until now. My 10 yr old has a natural knack for abstract strategy so he's making me work a little harder.

If you have never taken the time to sit down and "do the chess thing" with your kids, here's a web page with some substantive and anecdotal inspiration:

The New York City Schools Chess Program included more than 3,000 inner-city children in more than 100 public schools between 1986 and 1990. Based on academic and anecdotal records only, Christine Palm writes that the Program has proven that:

• Chess dramatically improves a child's ability to think rationally
• Chess increases cognitive skills
• Chess improves a child's communication skills and aptitude in recognizing patterns
• Chess results in higher grades, especially in English and Math studies
• Chess builds a sense of team spirit while emphasizing the ability of the individual
• Chess teaches the value of hard work, concentration and commitment
• Chess instills in young players a sense of self-confidence and self-worth
• Chess makes a child realize that he or she is responsible for his or her own actions and must accept their consequences
• Chess teaches children to try their best to win, while accepting defeat with grace
• Chess allows girls to compete with boys on a non-threatening, socially acceptable plane

Chess for Kids

Dad's Deep Divide

So the summer is long gone now, but I just found this article about Michael Phelps. I kept on wondering as I watched his record-setting performance this summer why only his mom and sisters were there to cheer him on, with no dad in the picture. Now I know.

How sad that this young man has records and fame, but lacks the one thing he probably wants more than anything else: the approval of his father.

"This is his world, and I'm just watching him travel through it," Fred [Phelps] told the Baltimore Sun in a 2004 interview. "People ask me how he's doing, where he's swimming next, and it's hard to say that I don't know."

Our sons may never reach this level of notoriety...but no matter what course they take , may it never be the case that we check out of their lives. It is our duty to make sure the divide does not remain.

DAD'S DEEP DIVIDE WITH SWIM KING MICHAEL PHELPS - New York Post

Father, Son Reach Everest Summit

This is an old article, but I just stumbled on it. The big headline here is "the youngest American to successfully scale Mount Everest", but to me the kicker is that he did it with his dad: side-by-side.

I have no desire to climb Everest (or any peak where death may be involved for that matter) and no delusions that I will ever achieve a goal of this magnitude, but I couldn't help but think about spiritual parallels of this achievement...

Are we with our sons as they scale the "peaks" in their lives? Are we walking side-by-side with them into high spiritual ground? Instead of Generation Everest are we aiming for Generational Manhood?!

Spokane Father, Son Reach Everest Summit

Exhortation

Look at I Corinthians 16:13,14.

This is part of Paul closing exhortation which we need to heed as men today. These verses have five significant applications to fathers and husbands.

"Watch ye" for as long as we are in this world we are in the place of danger, we are surrounded by pitfalls and snares on every hand. (See Mark 14:38.) We dare not trust ourselves and we cannot trust the world through which we journey.

"Stand fast in the faith" is a command we must embrace for so many people blow hot and blow cold. We must embrace the whole counsel of God, understanding doctrine as we walk in truth. The wife and family desperate need our consistency and stand on the Word of God. (See Matthew 4:4; 11 Timothy 1:14.)

"Quit ye like men" was a reproof from Paul because some of them were acting like babies; some were divided into sectarian groups. He had fed them with milk and not meat for they were fussing, quarreling Christians. (See I Corinthians 1:1-10.)

"Be strong" reminds us of I John 2:14 which speaks of young men in the faith who were strong, overcame satan, and were men of power for the Word of God abided in them.

"Let all your things be done in love" brings to focus again the great importance of a walk in divine love. (See Ephesians 5:1,2.)

Resolved

Recently a question came up about how much of my "early days" to share with my oldest son. I didn't become a Christian until I was 27, so there were plenty of years where I lived a worldly life.

As questions come up about girls, music, drinking, drugs, etc. I have to use discretion about what to share and what not to. In the past, I have been very open with him...in fact I started to feel that I was maybe being too open. I didn't have a principle on which to base my decision about what to share.

Thankfully, this short article from Fathers.com made me consider an excellent point:

don’t share your past unless you’ve resolved it

Through God's mercy I have resolved all much of my past, see it for what it is, and have come to terms with it. Now I can warn my children about my mistakes, give them a Biblical explanation/alternative, and help them avoid the same pitfalls.

Check out the entire (short) article here:

Raising Self-Controlled Sons

Do Hard Things

I've been searching for a book to read with my 16 year-old...this looks promising:

Written when they were 18 years old, Do Hard Things is the Harris twins' revolutionary message in its purest and most compelling form, giving readers a tangible glimpse of what is possible for teens who actively resist cultural lies that limit their potential.

Combating the idea of adolescence as a vacation from responsibility, the authors weave together biblical insights, history, and modern examples to redefine the teen years as the launching pad of life and map a clear trajectory for long-term fulfillment and eternal impact.

Written by teens for teens, Do Hard Things is packed with humorous personal anecdotes, practical examples, and stories of real-life rebelutionaries in action. This rallying cry from the heart of revolution already in progress challenges the next generation to lay claim to a brighter future, starting today.

Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris

The Truth Project

Straight from the website:

In a recent study, the Barna Research Group revealed a stunning statistic that continues to reverberate throughout the evangelical world. Only 9 percent of professing Christians have a biblical worldview.

Because of this, today's believers live very similarly to non-believers. A personal sense of significance is rarely experienced, we spend our money and time on things that fail to satisfy and we begin to wonder what life's ultimate purpose really is. We are, in short, losing our bearings as a people and a nation.

To counter this slide within the body of Christ, we are launching one of the most ambitious and powerful projects in the history of our ministry—Focus on the Family's The Truth Project.

The Truth Project is a DVD-based small group curriculum comprised of 12 one-hour lessons taught by Dr. Del Tackett. This home study is the starting point for looking at life from a biblical perspective. Each lesson discusses in great detail the relevance and importance of living the Christian worldview in daily life.

The Truth Project

Panthers Father & Kids Experience

I have been the "team captain" of the local All Prod Dad's Day sponsored by All Pro Dad since January of this year. It has been great fun to get together with other dads and their kids once a month and just share time together.

The big news is that the yearly Carolina Panthers Father & Kids Experience has just been announced! We had a great time last year and would highly recommend it. It tends to fill up quickly so register ASAP.


Saturday
November 8, 2008
1:30 PM - 4:30 PM
Panthers Practice Fields
Event expected to sell out early

Fireproof

I'm a little slow on the uptake when it comes to movies. Apparently this is a "Christian movie" (think Facing the Giants) that broaches the subject of marriage...and how to save it.

This seems like the type of movie I would typically wait to see on DVD (I get to go to the movies so infrequently, I like to save it for more visually epic films) but this might make a great date movie.

Check it out:

Welcome To FireproofTheMovie.com

See. Do.

A greater sorrow than a man not seeing a need is the man who sees it and does nothing about it. But a still greater sorrow is the man who sees the need and can do something about it but won’t.
— Edwin Louis Cole

Tripp Brothers

A long while ago I reviewed the book Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp. I pulled it back off the shelf a couple of days ago to look something up and realized (anew) what a great book it is.

The teaching ministries of Paul and his brother Ted Tripp have had a significant impact our family. If you are not familiar with their work I would encourage you to take a look:

Paul Tripp Ministries

Tedd Tripp Shepherd Press

What Makes a Good Father? Sons.

Here's a well written article by a father of three boys who did not have a strong manly influence in his life. He succinctly captures in a few paragraphs several thing so many of us fathers can't seem to put into words, but struggle with constantly.

What I'm discovering is that as I try to guide these ornery, wild-hearted little boys toward manhood, they are helping me become a better man, too. I love my sons without measure, and I want them to have the father I did not. As I stumble and sometimes fail, as I feign an interest in camping and construction and bugs, I become something better than I was.

Boys to Men

Love and Respect

I have not read the book or been to the conference, but just a glance at the website and watching a couple of the videos makes me think this might be worthwhile...kind of reminds me of a Christian version of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (which I investigated prior to becoming a Christian and have come to find out is very new-agey).


Love and Respect - Presented by Dr. Emerson E. Eggerichs

I Need To Hear It Again

I'm facilitating the Raising a Modern Day Knight class at my church again starting in October. You would think I might be getting tired of this by now, but I am very excited. I think of something different or learn something new every time. My favorite financial adviser, Dave Ramsey, always says God has him teach "financial peace" because he needs to hear it more than anyone else...I feel the same way about Him having me teach "strategic fatherhood".

I'm praying the right guys show up. I'm taking a little different tact this time and having an intro session where the guys get a chance to see more of what it is about before committing to take the 6 week class. Hopefully, this will get more guys in the door ("I'll attend the first meeting just to see what it is about...") and they will get hooked and stay.

Here's the announcement:

Raising A Modern Day Knight

The next class of Raising A Modern Day Knight meets on Wednesday evenings from October 1st through November 19th at 6:30PM. RMDK meets in room CC222 at Colonial Baptist Church.

Raising A Modern Day Knight is an 8-week class for men who are raising sons. This study will give you the opportunity to explore how you can raise your sons into a noble, vibrant masculinity and a healthy manhood, thus propelling your fatherhood to another level.

This series is led by Dave Conklin, a father of three sons.

The series is a study for men based on the best-selling Focus on the Family book, Raising a Modern Day Knight. The class format will consist of the following three elements:

* Group time to discuss the reading from the previous week.
* Video featuring Robert Lewis and Dennis Rainey
* Small group discussion

We do ask that if you choose to participate, you make attendance a priority. Also, please note that there will be reading assignments each week from the book Raising a Modern Day Knight.

Registration:

The first session is an introduction to the course. Feel free to attend the first session with no obligation. At the first session, you will have the opportunity to register for the remaining sessions, and purchase the materials.

A Survival Story

A great story from today's news:

"I just kept thinking about her and how I was not going to leave her without a brother and her father in the same day -- not on my watch..."

To infinity and beyond: A sparkling survival story - CNN.com

Learship Quotes

Leadership is the activity of influencing people to cooperate toward some goal which they come to find desirable. -- Ordway Teal

Leadership is a matter of having people look at you and gain confidence, seeing how you react. It your are in control, they are in control. - Tom Landry

A leader has been defined as one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way. -- Franklin P. Jones

Skill in the art of communication is crucial to a leader's success. He can accomplish nothing unless he can communicate effectively. -- Norman Allen

The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men the conviction and the will to carry on.
-- Walter Lippman, in Roosevelt Has Gone (April 14, 1945)

No man ruleth safely but he that is willingly ruled. -- Thomas A. Kempis

God's Family Values

The political season always brings about the bandying of the term "family values". Here's a little article on God's Family Values.

In view of the true condition [born twisted and practice sin moment by moment] of all people, including children, what should a Christian father do? He must read the Bible. Christian family values do not come from politicians, judges, or professors, but only from the one book which is in accordance with reality--the Bible, the very word of God. Therefore, a Christian father should study the Scriptures daily and diligently so God's family values will be coming from God the Father through the human father into a family. If a Christian father refuses to study the word of God daily and diligently, he will have nothing to offer his family in terms of family values. He will instead subscribe to and teach the secular orthodoxies prevalent in the world.

To Be A Man

TO BE A MAN
is to possess the strength to love another,
not the need to dominate others.

TO BE A MAN
is to experience the courage to accept another,
not the compulsion to be an aggressor.

TO BE A MAN
is to keep faith with godly values in relationships,
not to value oneself by position or possessions.

TO BE A MAN
is to be free to give love
and to be free to accept love in return.

Respect

I'm teaching a class at our homeschool co-op again this year...my 4th grader insisted I teach one of his classes! (since I have taught for his older brother and sister in the past)

I needed to come up with some class rules to share the first day and the typical "raise your hand before talking" and "don't touch your neighbors belongings" just weren't cutting it, so I dug a little deeper.

Basically it seems like those rules all come down to respect:

re·spect

tr.v. re·spect·ed, re·spect·ing, re·spects

1. To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.

2. To avoid violation of or interference with.

3. Willingness to show consideration or appreciation.

So, I formulated our class rules using the KISS principle:

1. Respect God
2. Respect the Teacher
3. Respect Each Other

That pretty much covers anything that could happen in a classroom. For that matter, with a small tweak that covers everything in a home as well.

Now, the sticky point comes in the enforcement of the rules....

Royal Family Kids' Camps

A few years ago my wife and I thought the Lord was leading us to start and run a themed camp for kids. It turns out He has lead us in a different direction, but at the time I did a lot of research on the topic.

One existing camp I came across that really captures the heart of this kind of endeavor is Royal Family Kids Camp. Their website says:

Most of us have experienced an encouraging word or kind gesture when we were at our deepest low, and we know how life changing it was. Since 1985, we have lifted children from the deepest pits of depair and given them hope that they can take one more step toward a better tomorrow and a brighter future. We are the nation's leading network of camps for abused, neglected and abandoned children. Our mission is to create positive memories for abused and neglected children ages 7-11, in a one-week camp experience.

Find out more here:

Royal Family Kids' Camps

Designed Dilemmas

Quick but insightful article by Tim Kimmel about leaving our kids a legacy by teaching them real life lessons:

I call this a "designed dilemma." It's creating a situation or an environment in which children are forced to focus on their needs as well as draw conclusions about their lives.

A loving legacy must be transferred, not just given. It must be embraced and appropriated into the core of our children's hearts. We can't be satisfied with modeling (as important as that is). We must develop lessons for our children that compel them to wrestle with (and therefore remember) critical truths.

Designed dilemmas lend strong support to one of the most worthy of all ambitions: Raising kids who turn out right.

Cody's Lesson - FamilyLife.com

Integrity

The person you are in private should match the person you are in public. That’s integrity. There are many things we as dads can do to pass this on to our kids.

How do we raise kids who possess integrity in a culture that seems to value image more than character? Like many things, integrity is more often caught than taught.

Here's a good little article on integrity and how it is passed on to our kids. I especially like the "You Might Be an Integrity Infector If" list:

You Might Be An Integrity Infector If:

• Your kids talk to you so much that you get worn out at times.
• Your kids like being with you.
• You like being with your kids.
• You and your kids joke around and laugh together a lot.
• You and your kids handle your mistakes humorously. Your kids kid you about them.
• You can talk somewhat intelligently about what’s going on in their world.
• You ask questions about what’s going on in their world.
• They ask you “why” questions. You welcome and applaud questions of any sort.
• You can handle their “why” questions without being overly threatened by them.
• They display remorse when caught in misbehavior.
• On occasion, they admit to misbehaviors even before you discover them.
• You use incidences of misbehavior to explain why correct behavior is important.
• Your kids don’t lie well. You’re able to tell when they are being dishonest.
• They’ve seen you be honest on occasions when you could have gotten away with dishonesty.
• Your kids seem to understand why you have the rules you do. They ask questions about them more than they complain about them.

Infecting Your Kids with Integrity

The Last Lecture

Just heard that Randy Pausch passed away. I was only faintly aware of his "The Last Lecture" stuff (I've seen clips on youtube but haven't read the book) but the idea of presenting the lessons you've learned in your life to your kids in that format definitely appealed to me...

A lot of professors give talks titled “The Last Lecture.” Professors are asked to consider their demise and to ruminate on what matters most to them. And while they speak, audiences can’t help but mull the same question: What wisdom would we impart to the world if we knew it was our last chance? If we had to vanish tomorrow, what would we want as our legacy?
When Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon, was asked to give such a lecture, he didn’t have to imagine it as his last, since he had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. But the lecture he gave—“Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams”—wasn’t about dying. It was about the importance of overcoming obstacles, of enabling the dreams of others, of seizing every moment (because “time is all you have…and you may find one day that you have less than you think”). It was a summation of everything Randy had come to believe. It was about living.

Here's more info:

The Last Lecture | Randy Pausch

Colonial Team in Scotland

My wife and oldest son are on a missions trip to Scotland providing a VBS based "kids club" and teaching American football among other activities.

The rest of us miss them tremendously, but we know they are serving the Lord and that makes it bearable.

Colonial Team in Scotland

Sportsmens Devotional

If you're like me the last thing you need is a daily email in your inbox...however if you are currently not part of a regular devotional email loop and you consider yourself a "sportsman", this might be worth checking out:

The Sportsman's Devotional comes to your e-mail each day as soon as you sign up. It is a completely free service and we have no hidden agendas except sharing our hearts and outdoor thoughts with you. They are written by Sportsmen for Sportsman. Our staff pastors carefully scrutinize each devotional after it is submitted by our team for biblical accuracy.

Our ministry is world wide. We have subscribers in every state as well as many countries around the world. Soldiers serving us around the world read our devotionals each day.

We are a group of Sportsman who write the Sportsman’s Devotional each day as a regular part of our personal bible study. Our team is made up of regular guys from various professions ranging from a commercial airline pilot, a warehouse manager, hunting-fishing guides, ministers, to game wardens. We have one thing in common: we love the Lord, His awesome creation and the sporting lifestyle. Each of our team members has outdoors expertise in various fields.

Sportsmens Devotional

He put it into your heart first

Do you think you love your children better than He who made them? Is not your love what it is because He put it into your heart first? Have you not often been cross with them? Sometimes unjust to them? Whence came the returning love that rose from unknown depths in your being, and swept away the anger and the injustice? You did not create that love. Probably you were not good enough to send for it by prayer. But it came. God sent it. He makes you love your children.

-George MacDonald

Things happen when you say No

Good post over on Lifehacker about priorities, etc. This excerpt stood out to me, especially considering the crazy pace of our summer...

One effect of having priorities is how often you have to say no. It's one of the smallest words in the English language, yet many people have trouble saying it. The problem is that if you can't say no, you can't have priorities. The universe is a large place, but your "priority one" list should be very small. That small list means there are thousands of good ideas that must be denied to focus your energy on the ones you've chosen to pursue. If you continually say yes to ideas that do not match your priorities, you are saying yes to failure. If you want to change your priorities, that's one thing, but if you are constantly changing them then they were never priorities at all. You did not think deeply enough about them if, emotionally, they are easy to change every few hours. So a fundamental law is this: if you can't say no, if you can't protect your priorities, you can't make things happen.

For parents the ability to say no is essential to avoid the family becoming over-extended. Likewise, it is an enormous gift to give your children the ability to say no to themselves and others.

Try this. At the next family dinner tell the kids you want them to "tell yourself no at least one time tomorrow" and report back on how it went at the next dinner...you'll be amazed at what they come up with!

Comprehend the Magnitude

I can't remember where I found this article, but I clipped it and keep it around as a reminder of how easy it is to slip into a "treading water" mind set. I do not want to be this man!

I think I've been coming dangerously close to this description in too many areas of my life lately. Here's hoping a little jab will get me out of my rut...and remind me that my "mitigation plan" is to seize the fact that my eternity is as a joint-heir with Christ, and that in the meantime I have His work to do by His Grace for His glory.

Area Man's Life Slipping Away Even As He Reads This

June 23, 1999

GLENDALE, CA—The life of Greg Chelecki continues to slip away from him even as he reads this article, sources close to the 47-year-old insurance claims adjuster confirmed Monday.

Though the range of opportunities available to Chelecki is constantly dwindling, there is reportedly nothing he can do to prevent his existence from slowly marching toward its inevitable conclusion.

"I just thought I'd sit down a couple minutes and see what's in the paper," Chelecki said. "Might as well."

Chelecki's life, which he describes as "okay," is that of an average U.S. suburbanite, populated by a typical assortment of friends and loved ones. Like those of many men his age, the life has featured a few small triumphs, several notable tragedies, a 14-year stretch in a mid-level management position, home ownership, and a sturdy but unspectacular marriage.

Despite its uninspired nature, the life is the only one Chelecki possesses. It is unknown as of press time whether this makes his situation any more or less poignant.

"Greg's life is pretty much the same as that of a lot of guys I know," said Chelecki's neighbor, Howard Lehmann. "He just keeps on keeping on, know what I mean? At least he's enjoying reading that newspaper right now instead of slogging through that big pile of paperwork he's got to get through by the end of the week."

This morning, Chelecki's life continued to pass him by as he showered, ate rye toast, commuted to work in his leased Saturn coupe, and maintained an acceptable level of forced politeness while interacting with his supervisor. The passage of his life did not stop, or even slow, during any of these events.

"I like relaxing after work with the paper. It calms me down a bit. You have to take time for yourself every now and then," said Chelecki, whose remarks brought himself six seconds closer to the end of his existence.

Experts say Chelecki, while aware of the inexorable passage of time, does not comprehend the magnitude of what is happening to him.

"Many people don't truly allow themselves to consider the finite nature of their lives until the end is right in front of them," said Brown University sociologist Geoffrey Gausmann. "Only by distracting themselves with such things as Whopper sandwiches, dirty jokes at the office water cooler, The Drew Carey Show, and newspapers such as the one Chelecki is currently reading can they bear the subconscious knowledge that time is always running out."

Observers say the meaninglessness of Chelecki's life could be somewhat mitigated if he were to engage in more worthwhile pursuits, such as playing tennis, taking a gourmet-cooking class with his wife, or having children. However, analysis of the estimated 430 rich, full lives known to recorded history indicates that even such positive, proactive steps as these would fail to cease, or even slow, Chelecki's second-to-second erosion.

Projections indicate that the steady ebbing of Chelecki's life will most likely end sometime in 2028, when it will finally be halted by his death, a condition which will, in turn, endure until the end of time itself.

Backyard Ballistics

As an alternative to fireworks for The Fourth of July this year, we will be launching our newly constructed combustion potato-cannon (aka Spud Gun).

With the help of our friend Chris, we built it using $40 worth of stuff you can pick up at your local Lowe's hardware. It was quite easy to build, is relatively safe (you are dealing with a controlled explosion here...so safety procedures need to be followed!) , and provides an awesome father/son bonding experience.

If you want to learn more, there is a ton of stuff on the web from people who take it very seriously:

The Spudgun Technology Center

http://dangerouslyfun.com/spud-gun

http://backyard-ballistics.com/

The Battle of All Time

Imagine a partial list of some of the coolest imaginary characters and creatures in a young boy's world:

Army Men
Secret Agents
Dragons
Ninjas
Samurai
Giants
Superheros
Cowboys
Robots
Alien creatures
Cyborgs
Mythical beasts
Vikings
Knights
Dinosaurs
Wizards
Pirates*

Now, imagine all of these (* except for Pirates, but that's another story) as playable figures in the ultimate board game for boys and dads. You don't have to imagine anymore, because right now on the shelf of your local Walmart, Target, or favorite game store there is a little slice of "plastic heaven" called Heroscape.

If you have never heard of this game you are missing out on a wonderful experience. If your idea of an evening of playing a family boardgame is another dull game of checkers or *cringe* Monopoly, then you are in for a treat should you pick this game up.

My boys and I have been involved in this game/hobby for a few years now: collecting the figures (it is "non-collectible" but we are completists, so we have all the figs), designing maps/scenarios, and playing as much as possible.

I highly recommend it as a great dad/son bonding experience and a darn fun game.

Find more info here:

Gamerdad.com : Heroscape Review

Official Heroscape Site

The All-Time Best (And Worst) TV Dads

I haven't had much time to add entries lately as I started a new job. So for the meantime I am trolling other blogs and posting cross-links to their content.

I've been wanting to link to the Art of Manliness blog for awhile, even though sometimes the content can be a little extreme for my tastes. Here's their take on TV dads:

The All-Time Best (And Worst) TV Dads

Cherish Your Children

Nice little article especially for Father's Day that reminds us to cherish every moment with our children:

After their baby died, Mike and Sara went through all measure of genetic testing to see if it would be okay for them to have another child. When everything checked out, they had a baby girl, Jenny. Then, a couple of years later, they were blessed with a second baby girl, Katie. These were glorious years for Mike and Sara. No doubt the loss of their first baby helped them to cherish their girls.

But then, one day, for no apparent reason, Jenny became seriously ill. Her parents rushed her to the hospital, but there was nothing the doctors could do to save her life. She died of unknown causes. The grief Mike and Sara felt was felt was overwhelming. To have lost one child was profoundly tragic. To have lost a second was almost unbearable.

Reflections on Fatherhood: Cherish Your Children

Homeschool Football League

We were a little late in joining this organization, but now that we have, my oldest son is loving it.

Homeschoolers are finally starting to get "equal opportunities" in sports. What I especially like about this group is their desire to have dads very involved:

The Homeschool Football League is committed to helping foster stronger father and son relationships. Each season, we schedule events like our Father and Son Game and our Kick, Punt, Pass Competition. These special occasions have been a tremendous success and highlight the difference between the HFL and other secular leagues...As we continue to build the league, we will base our development, conduct, and decisions on the principles of the Christian faith lived out in the life of Jesus Christ, our Savior.

Homeschool Football League

Men At The Cross

Early on in my Christian walk I had the chance to attend a Promise Keepers event. Even though the organization has taken some lumps over the years and has slowly declined in popularity, I still consider attending the event an important moment in my life as a Christian man.

Now there is another organization that is drawing several speakers from Promise Keepers into a new format and new attitude: "Men at the Cross".

Some of the "heavy hitters" behind this organization include Joe White, Steve Farrar, Stu Weber, and Robert Lewis...all men that have written books that have strongly influenced me.
I'm definitely planning on attending the event in Charlotte, NC.

Check out the website for more info:

Men At The Cross

The Call...Your Unique Design

Part of our job as dad is to help our kids find a "career direction" in life. In the early years this can be as simple as occasionally asking "what do you want to be when you grow up?" followed by a "I think you would be great at _____."

But as they get older, except for the rare self-directed kid, you'll have to take a more active role.

One possibility I'm personally considering is to have my child take a "test". There are quite a few career/strength assessment programs out there, but here are two that are distinctively Christian in nature and approach the question from a spiritual gifts perspective. I am not sure to what degree they leverage secular personality systems like Myers-Briggs, but they definitely look interesting.

The Call

Your Unique Design

Overscheduled Kids and Teens

Is your family anything like ours this time of year?

The good news: all the extra-circular activities, special events, and homeschool co-op groups are finally winding down for the year.
The bad news: it's time to start planning out all the logistics for camps, vacations, and mission trips for the summer.

But seriously, all these things are good things ...it's just that if we are not careful we can commit to too many good things, which can be a bad thing. I have to confess we sometimes slip into a mentality summed up as:

giving [your] child necessary “opportunities” by having them participate in as many activities as possible.... keeping kids extremely active in these activities, is necessary for future success.

Here's a common-sense article that reminds us that there are risks for having too many activities and that good old-fashioned "family time" is a viable alternative:

Make family time a priority. Spending time together should take precedence over each family member pursuing their individual activities. Healthy activities like walking, biking, or gardening together can also help keep stress levels at bay.

Overscheduled Kids and Teens: The Risks of Too Many Activities

Dads and Daughters

Here's a great website that is a source of all kinds of info/articles/resources/etc. for dads and daughters:

Dads & Daughters improves the lives of fathers, daughters, and their families with outstanding educational resources supporting fathers’ involvement in girls’ lives and advocacy for girls’ well-being.

DADs’ tools and resources help develop supportive and healthy father-daughter relationships. Strong, positive relationships between daughters and their fathers and stepfathers helps girls increase their self esteem, gives them greater opportunities for self-fulfillment, delays the onset of puberty, and provides many other benefits—including improving the father’s health.

Dads and Daughters

Love Their Mother

Mother's day came this year in the midst of a lot of other activities going on in our lives so my wife didn't get the usual royal treatment.

But, it strikes me that I don't need to have a special day to demonstrate appreciation for her. Here's a quick little article to remind us that our wives deserve special treatment from us every day of the year.

Of particular interest for this blog is the "Model for Chivalry" item.

FATHERS.COM - What Children Gain When You Love Their Mother

Blog Directory

Warrior's Hand was added to the Fatherhood category within the Best of the Web Blog Directory.

Whisker Rubs

Well it is obvious to me that I am never going to find the time to read all the books I would like to read...so the next best thing is to find good book reviews done by others.

Here is a short, general review from the Books for Boys blog of a book that has beeen on my "to read" list for awhile.

“Whisker Rubs” is an important book because it doesn’t simply lay out what’s gone wrong for boys and men in our society. Nor does it lay the blame solely on women or the feminist movement. Don also offers answers and solutions.

Books for Boys: WHISKER RUBS

Excerpt from The Warrior Within

In keeping with the theme of the last post on dad inspiration, here are some excerpts from Pat Williams' The Warrior Within : Becoming Complete in the Four Crucial Dimensions of Manhood from leadershipnow.com. He gives lots of examples about his interaction with sports stars to drive home his points.


About half way down is the header "How to be a Perfect Dad"...something we can all identify with:

Don’t you want to be a perfect dad? Sure you do! To help you reach that goal, I’ve assembled a simple guide to flawless fatherhood. Follow these easy steps and you, too, can achieve perfection as a father.

Step 1: Forget About Being Perfect

Got that? If you did something hurtful to your kids, such as yelling at them when you shouldn’t have or missing one of their important events, then admit it and apologize sincerely. According to Pat, acknowledging mistakes actually magnifies you in your kid's eyes.

Excerpt from The Warrior Within : Becoming Complete in the Four Crucial Dimensions of Manhood - Leadershop @ LeadershipNow.com

What's a Dad Worth

I don't know about you, but sometimes I need some "dad encouragement". Yes, I know I play a pivotal role in my kid's lives...but sometimes I don't feel like it. I get the impression the "machine" would keep rolling on without me.

Here's a nice little article that reminds us how we dads are different and why it is important. Also, that strategic time with our kids is invaluable:

Fortunately men today know how valuable they are to their children. The most recent studies show that dads spend 33 percent more time with their kids than their counterparts 20 years earlier... When you combine workdays and weekends, men today spend an average of two to three hours a day engaged with their young children - far more than the oft-cited figure of 12 minutes a day...

But just punching in on the family clock isn't the whole story. "Presence means more than simply being there, ...A father who is engaged can be deeply vested in his children, even when he is absent."

What's a Dad Worth

How to Be a Man - wikiHow

Wow, never thought I'd see a wiki article on how to be a man...but sure enough there is one. With what looks like 50 or so edits from several different authors, I was actually surprised it wasn't much worse!

Learn that being a man deserving respect has more to do with integrity, accountability, and love-ability rather than how much one can bench press.

How to Be a Man - wikiHow

Coaching Boys into Men

In a recent post, I mentioned that serving on a jury opened my eyes to the problem of violence against women and reminded me how important it is to mentor our sons (and other men for that matter) on how a man properly treats a woman.

As promised, here's another quick-read article from Family Violence Prevention Fund that emphasizes the importance of coaching boys in this area. From the article:

Boys are swamped with influences outside of the home – from friends, the neighborhood, television, the internet, music, the movies… everything they see around them. They hear all kinds of messages about what it means to “be a man” – that they have to be tough and in control. There are numerous conflicting and some harmful messages being given to boys about what constitutes “being a man” in a relationship.

Coaching Boys into Men