Gut-level Honesty

I just enjoyed a two-day mini men's retreat with guest speaker Steve Farrar. I've seen him speak before and really enjoyed it. This time he challenged us men in several areas with his straight-shootin' insight.

Of particular challenge to me was the question of "personal integrity". Do I live the same when I'm alone and no one is watching as I do when I'm in public? Are all my financial dealings "above board"? Do I lie (even ever so slightly) to make things more convenient for myself? I pray God will help me in this area.

Here's a quote from Steve's website:

There’s one non-negotiable trait that you must embrace in your life and that trait is gut-level honesty. You must stay alert to the schemes of the enemy. We’re at war, and our foe is smarter and greater and wiser than we are. But Jesus is greater than he is. So let’s keep our eyes fixed upon Jesus.

10 Needs of a 14 year old boy

Found this awhile back, not sure where. Thought provoking:

10 Needs of a 14 year old boy

1. To climb a mountain and look down from the peak.
2. To sit around a campfire with team mates and good friends.
3. To test his strength and his skills on his very own.
4. To be alone with his own thoughts and with his God.
5. To reach out and find the hand of an adult willing to help.
6. To have a code to live by...easily understood and fair.
7. Play hard for the fun of it...and work hard for the thrill of it.
8. To have a chance to fail...and know why.
9. To have good friends and to be a good friend.
10. To have a hero...and a vision to measure him by.

Raising a Modern Day Knight - Insights

Here is a very short 4 entry blog (quick easy read) from a guy that implemented the RaMDK techniques with his son. This is a great real world example of how to get it set up, what to expect, and some really concise insights on how it went.

Of particular interest to me was this insight:

Some guys see this whole thing as "overblown".
Guys that grew up in stable, loving homes may see this whole thing as a little over the top. These guys likely received their father's blessing, leadership, and counsel throughout their lives. All of this became a part of their lives in such a natural way that it's hard for them to recognize the importance. Frankly, these guys are at greatest risk for dropping the ball with their own sons. Their response is often: "what's the big deal?"

Check it out:

Raising a Modern Day Knight Insights

The Importance of Family Dinners

Here is an interesting study from The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University. Some very interesting statistics to mull over, but the thing that stood out the most to me was this observation:

What They Want at the Table is You
This year’s report finds that 84 percent of teens prefer to have dinner with their families rather than eat alone. Eighty-one percent of 16- and 17-year olds also prefer to dine with their families. Of those teens who have less than three family dinners per week, 62 percent say they would prefer to eat with their families compared to 92 percent of teens who have at least five family dinners per week.

The Importance of Family Dinners IV

The Media Rules

Ok, that title is a play on words...but now that we are halfway through the month of September under our "media blackout" (see this post) I have realized how in many ways media has ruled our home.

There really aren't that many TV shows that we watched, but when you add in movies, electronic gadgets, and computer use...the total time spent in media entertainment has been arguably much higher than it should be.

After we get through September and the "no media" restrictions are lifted, we are going to put some stronger guidelines in place than we have in the past. Here is a good set of rules that I plan to use as a starting point, with the underlying mandate being:

We use electronic media and games only to promote family welfare, never to work against it.

Media Rules

Preparing Sons

I found out about this website at a homeschool conference a few years ago, but had forgotten all about it. Going through some notes the other night I stumbled across it again.

The centerpiece of the website is the book "Preparing Sons" by Steven Maxwell. Its compelling message is that it is a dad's responsibility to raise his son in such a way that he is able to provide for his own family when he becomes an adult:

Learn these principles from a dad whose 24-year-old homeschooled son has purchased a home debt free and whose second son is financially able to do the same. Steve explains how it is possible for parents, with a willing commitment, to properly prepare their sons to provide for a single-income family.

Also on the site are "work project ideas"...real life examples to help you prepare your sons in needed skills for life. Definitely a site to check out.

PreparingSons.com

Punt, Pass, & Kick

Finally, one of my boys is showing interest in playing football! He's got a ways to go yet (just starting 6-7 yr old flag football) but like any red-blooded American dad, I'm already scouting out opportunities:

The NFL Pepsi PUNT, PASS & KICK program is a national skills competition for boys and girls between the ages of 8 -15 to compete separately against their peers. Established in 1961, the PP&K program is the oldest NFL Youth Football program.

NFLYP-PPK

President's Volunteer Service Award

While I am somewhat philosophically against receiving rewards for volunteer service, if you are looking for a way to encourage your kids to participate in outreach ministries or volunteer opportunities, a good way to do so is with the President's Volunteer Service Award.

"Recognizing and honoring volunteers sets a standard for service to others. It encourages a sustained commitment to civic participation and inspires others to make volunteering a central part of their lives. The President's Volunteer Service Award recognizes individuals, families, and groups that have achieved a certain standard – measured by the number of hours served over a 12-month period or cumulative hours earned over the course of a lifetime."

Letters from Dad

The Letters from Dad curriculum and product line is based on the profound question:

If God were to take you home today... what would your wife and children hold in their hands tomorrow that would let them know that they were the treasures of your life?

Founder and President Greg Vaughn took the sadness he felt after his dad passed away and he realized "I did not possess even a signature of my father" and turned it into a ministry to help dads.

You are invited on a journey... a journey to leave a legacy of Faith, Hope and Love through the lost art of letter writing.

Earned. Never Given?

Driving into work yesterday I saw a truck with the Marine saber ad on its side with the emblazoned "Earned. Never Given" quote. It started me thinking about that in terms of Christian Manhood. Is it truly the case that our sons have to earn their manhood by demonstrating to us their abilities/willingness/readiness or is it the case that by us giving them the moniker of "man" that they strive to live up to it?

I am torn on this issue, especially in the light of the grace that God has so freely given us. The basic Christian doctrine is that we are unable to earn our righteousness, but that it is freely given. Shouldn't the same transaction take place between a father and his son?

This is especially apropos for me right now as my oldest son's 16th birthday is approaching and I am planning to give him a sword to symbolize his next step toward manhood. I will have to think on this some more...

"Vertical 07" Father/Son Retreat

Colonial Baptist in Cary, NC is offering a father-son retreat on September 14-16, 2007 at Camp Willow Run in Littleton, NC. My seven year old and I are planning to attend.

http://colonialkids.org/ministry/fathersonretreat.html