Here's a men's group in Richmond, VA with lots of info and resources:
Through a variety of ministry and service experiences men will be challenged to measure their manhood against a biblical model rather than contemporary culture. Consequently, these men will become spiritually alive in Christ, investing significantly in their personal spiritual growth as well as the spiritual growth of their wives and children.
Good post on Covenant Eyes blog describing some practical ways women can help inspire their men to live a noble manhood:
Men need someone to believe in them. They need someone to tell them that they can rise above this horrendous mediocrity. They desperately need someone to tell them that they can have a lot more than “one thing” on their minds. And they need someone to raise the expectations of their manhood. Believe it or not, we as men need you, as young women, to help us find our way out of this spiritual gutter of cultural “normalcy.”
There are several things I don't like about the website I'm about to share:
While shopping for a medieval sword for my son, I came across this great source for swords, armor, period gifts, etc from the Roman, Medieval, and the Renaissance periods.
Not only do they have a ton of great stuff for the collector, reenactor, and gift giver...but they are also Christians committed to using their business as a platform to share the gospel:
Real Armor of God.com is a Christian based business promoting the gospel message of "forgiveness of our sins against the one and only true God, through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ."
Good to see other fellowships running the same 6-week RMDK series we are running at Colonial:
New Life Band of Brothers
Focus on the Family recently had Robert Lewis (author of Raising a Modern Day Knight) on the program.
Check it out:
As I've mentioned, my oldest son has a ceremony coming up. It is scheduled for this weekend. Using the sword as the metaphor, here are the principles I'll be imparting for this "stage":
A True Man has a Purpose. He has:
I've mentioned before that I decided to present my oldest son a sword for one of the stages of his progression towards manhood.
Well, he was supposed to receive it a year ago (I'm starting to detect a trend here) but I am just now to the point where I am ready to purchase his sword and arrange a ceremony.
As far as sword buying goes, it is not for the uninitiated. There are lots of nuances and pitfalls to choosing the right weapon. The best place to start researching is definitely:
Part of creating impactful ceremonies with your kids when conducting a rite of passage or manhood/womenhood ceremony is presenting them with a meaningful, valuable keepsake.
These can be as simple as a rock picked up along the path or as elaborate as a personalized, inscribed sword. If the item carries with it symbolic meaning and reminders of the principles that have been imparted, all the better.
Here are some great items I stumbled upon that fit this description wonderfully...all based on the Biblical metaphor of "The Armor of God". These would make a great gift at any age to remind your son that he is a warrior belonging to the Army of God.
I've seen the dog tag item in person and was impressed by the quality. Check it out:
I'm always searching for resources, articles, documents, etc. to share on this blog...and every once and awhile I stumble on something that makes me think: "how did I never see this before?"
Here is a link to such a site. Talk about being on the same wavelength! It's great to see other Christian dads out there with the same call from the Lord to spread the word about bestowing a vision of authentic manhood to the next generation of men.
From the site:
On the site you'll find links to resources, products (a book and devotional guide), and a blog.Today’s families, communities, churches and nation bear little resemblance to those of yesteryear. The onslaught of cultural changes has strained our society beyond its limits. Overwhelming evidence points to the vacuum of authentic manhood as a major cause of these issues.
Tomorrow’s hope for authentic manhood rests in today’s boys.
Today’s boys need faithful men!
They need changed men!
They need men equipped to model, teach and mentor.
I'm facilitating the Raising a Modern Day Knight class at my church again starting in October. You would think I might be getting tired of this by now, but I am very excited. I think of something different or learn something new every time. My favorite financial adviser, Dave Ramsey, always says God has him teach "financial peace" because he needs to hear it more than anyone else...I feel the same way about Him having me teach "strategic fatherhood".
I'm praying the right guys show up. I'm taking a little different tact this time and having an intro session where the guys get a chance to see more of what it is about before committing to take the 6 week class. Hopefully, this will get more guys in the door ("I'll attend the first meeting just to see what it is about...") and they will get hooked and stay.
Here's the announcement:
Raising A Modern Day Knight
The next class of Raising A Modern Day Knight meets on Wednesday evenings from October 1st through November 19th at 6:30PM. RMDK meets in room CC222 at Colonial Baptist Church.
Raising A Modern Day Knight is an 8-week class for men who are raising sons. This study will give you the opportunity to explore how you can raise your sons into a noble, vibrant masculinity and a healthy manhood, thus propelling your fatherhood to another level.
This series is led by Dave Conklin, a father of three sons.
The series is a study for men based on the best-selling Focus on the Family book, Raising a Modern Day Knight. The class format will consist of the following three elements:
* Group time to discuss the reading from the previous week.
* Video featuring Robert Lewis and Dennis Rainey
* Small group discussion
We do ask that if you choose to participate, you make attendance a priority. Also, please note that there will be reading assignments each week from the book Raising a Modern Day Knight.
Registration:
The first session is an introduction to the course. Feel free to attend the first session with no obligation. At the first session, you will have the opportunity to register for the remaining sessions, and purchase the materials.
Mother's day came this year in the midst of a lot of other activities going on in our lives so my wife didn't get the usual royal treatment.
But, it strikes me that I don't need to have a special day to demonstrate appreciation for her. Here's a quick little article to remind us that our wives deserve special treatment from us every day of the year.
Of particular interest for this blog is the "Model for Chivalry" item.
FATHERS.COM - What Children Gain When You Love Their Mother
I'm facilitating the six week Raising a Modern Day Knight class again at my church starting February 20th. I more or less just helped out last time, but will be leading this time.
It is a great class and I highly recommend it if you can find it in your area. It is a bit of a commitment for the six weeks and if you have never really been exposed to the concepts before, it can be a bit overwhelming. But, I have found it resonates profoundly with most men.
At some point in my studies of knighthood and creating a manhood plan for my boys, I realized that I would want to display a family coat of arms. A little research turned up that the commonly held acceptance of a "surname coat of arms" is really a misconception. In fact it was quite freeing to find out:
The bearing of coats of arms is not regulated in most countries, including the United States, thus there has been a proliferation of "family name" companies offering histories and coats of arms for a given surname. While there is no reason we cannot enjoy the decoration of a coat of arms associated with someone centuries ago who shared our surname, we should be aware that this is all that it is -- a decoration.
There is also no reason we cannot create a coat of arms and crest for ourselves, whether based on the coat of arms of an ancestor who shared our name (and may or may not be related to us), or designed from scratch to mean something special to our own lives and family.
Because I use the metaphor of knighthood and chivalry with my boys as I teach them about biblical manhood, I have taken the time to do some research on medieval knighthood. You don't have to dig very deep before you come across a singular individual who influences our understanding of that era more than any other: William Marshal.
Proclaimed by both friend and foe as the "greatest knight who ever lived", William Marshal had an undeniable impact on the history and politics of England, but more importantly for our purposes he left a legacy of attitudes and actions that in many ways defines knighthood.
When he died, a kingdom mourned him, an enemy king wept for him but then, eventually, a world slowly forgot the man called "the flower of chivalry".
Here's a great site to learn more about this amazing man:
Stumbled upon this book...looks very intriguing. In working on the manhood metaphor of knighthood for my sons, I have most often focused on the western medieval tradition. I have always had an interest in the samurai and the code of Bushido, however, I have shied away from it mostly because of the Zen overtones.
This book looks like it tries to reconcile, or at least circumvent the contradictions:
The samurai, whose very title means “one who serves,” were skillful warriors of feudal Japan who devoted themselves fully to the service of their masters, willing even to sacrifice their lives in service to their lord. Christians are also called by their Lord, Jesus, to take up their cross and follow Him, and to seek to lose their life for His sake (Matthew 16:24-25).
Author Paul Nowak ties the advice of these servant-warriors of old, pointing out how the selections from samurai texts relate to Christian teachings found in the Scriptures.
The book is a matchless resource for Christians intrigued by the mythos of the samurai or Japanese culture, or for pastors and other spiritual leaders who are looking for anecdotes that illustrate Biblical ideals
TrueU.org is a community for college students who want to know and confidently discuss the Christian worldview. I found a good article there about "modern day Chivalry" which includes a list of common courtesies you can begin to put into practice at all times, toward all people. Our sons need to know these things!
To be a gentleman these days doesn't necessarily mean ruining your coat so your date doesn't have to walk across a puddle. It doesn't mean knowing which fork is the dessert fork, or whether or not you should put your elbows on the table. What it means is viewing people — all people — as the valuable human beings they are. It means treating people with respect out of reverence for Christ. In any situation, ask yourself: How would I want my grandfather to be treated? How would I want my future daughter to be treated? Then live out your answer.
Here is a very short 4 entry blog (quick easy read) from a guy that implemented the RaMDK techniques with his son. This is a great real world example of how to get it set up, what to expect, and some really concise insights on how it went.
Of particular interest to me was this insight:
Some guys see this whole thing as "overblown".
Guys that grew up in stable, loving homes may see this whole thing as a little over the top. These guys likely received their father's blessing, leadership, and counsel throughout their lives. All of this became a part of their lives in such a natural way that it's hard for them to recognize the importance. Frankly, these guys are at greatest risk for dropping the ball with their own sons. Their response is often: "what's the big deal?"
I received my most recent Raising a Modern Day Knight newsletter today, encouraging us as fathers to continue to "reject passivity". I thought the way the author ended the newsletter with a motto was really cool. I'm not sure if it is his or the motto for the whole ministry, but it rings true with me:
Live Pure | Speak Truth | Right Wrong | Follow the King
Check out this old post if you are looking for ideas for your own personal motto:
An exercise I have my boys go through after their 13th birthday ceremony is to define their own "Code of Conduct". Based on the concept that every man should have a personal code of conduct which he follows and drawing from many historical and modern sources, this has proven to be an enlightening experience.
Once source to draw on heavily is the medieval "Knightly Code of Virtue". This article from Chivalry Today outlines the common themes of knightly virtue by giving us the essential elements of today’s code of chivalry:
