Excerpt from The Warrior Within

In keeping with the theme of the last post on dad inspiration, here are some excerpts from Pat Williams' The Warrior Within : Becoming Complete in the Four Crucial Dimensions of Manhood from leadershipnow.com. He gives lots of examples about his interaction with sports stars to drive home his points.


About half way down is the header "How to be a Perfect Dad"...something we can all identify with:

Don’t you want to be a perfect dad? Sure you do! To help you reach that goal, I’ve assembled a simple guide to flawless fatherhood. Follow these easy steps and you, too, can achieve perfection as a father.

Step 1: Forget About Being Perfect

Got that? If you did something hurtful to your kids, such as yelling at them when you shouldn’t have or missing one of their important events, then admit it and apologize sincerely. According to Pat, acknowledging mistakes actually magnifies you in your kid's eyes.

Excerpt from The Warrior Within : Becoming Complete in the Four Crucial Dimensions of Manhood - Leadershop @ LeadershipNow.com

What's a Dad Worth

I don't know about you, but sometimes I need some "dad encouragement". Yes, I know I play a pivotal role in my kid's lives...but sometimes I don't feel like it. I get the impression the "machine" would keep rolling on without me.

Here's a nice little article that reminds us how we dads are different and why it is important. Also, that strategic time with our kids is invaluable:

Fortunately men today know how valuable they are to their children. The most recent studies show that dads spend 33 percent more time with their kids than their counterparts 20 years earlier... When you combine workdays and weekends, men today spend an average of two to three hours a day engaged with their young children - far more than the oft-cited figure of 12 minutes a day...

But just punching in on the family clock isn't the whole story. "Presence means more than simply being there, ...A father who is engaged can be deeply vested in his children, even when he is absent."

What's a Dad Worth

How to Be a Man - wikiHow

Wow, never thought I'd see a wiki article on how to be a man...but sure enough there is one. With what looks like 50 or so edits from several different authors, I was actually surprised it wasn't much worse!

Learn that being a man deserving respect has more to do with integrity, accountability, and love-ability rather than how much one can bench press.

How to Be a Man - wikiHow

Coaching Boys into Men

In a recent post, I mentioned that serving on a jury opened my eyes to the problem of violence against women and reminded me how important it is to mentor our sons (and other men for that matter) on how a man properly treats a woman.

As promised, here's another quick-read article from Family Violence Prevention Fund that emphasizes the importance of coaching boys in this area. From the article:

Boys are swamped with influences outside of the home – from friends, the neighborhood, television, the internet, music, the movies… everything they see around them. They hear all kinds of messages about what it means to “be a man” – that they have to be tough and in control. There are numerous conflicting and some harmful messages being given to boys about what constitutes “being a man” in a relationship.

Coaching Boys into Men

Aggressive Girls

Who would have thought this would be a problem?

I'm not sure how it is in your circles, but from what I can tell teen and pre-teen girls are very aggressive these days. I've seen some very tasteless and desperate behavior on the part of girls who throw themselves at guys for attention/affirmation.

There are two sides to this to be sure... and I'm becoming acquainted with both. My oldest son is on the receiving end of some of this attention. And my daughter is at an age where her peers are starting to demonstrate it. In a bizarre twist, her friends sometimes demonstrate this aggressiveness towards her brother (hopefully this is helping her see the foolishness of it!)

Here's an article from well-known Christian author/speaker Dennis Rainey with his impressions of this "new" problem:

Back when I was growing up, there were some girls who were called “boy crazy,” but very few were as forward and aggressive as what we’re seeing today. Based on my conversation with parents, and what I’ve seen through research on the Internet, I think parents are facing some serious challenges. We’re seeing more girls taking the initiative with guys at younger and younger ages, and aggressively attempting to lure them into sexual activity....
the situation has changed enough in recent years that we need to ask, “How can we prepare our teenage sons for dealing with the attention and temptation being thrown at them by some sexually aggressive girls?”

Protecting Your Son From Aggressive Girls
(The Family Room - March 2008 - FamilyLife.com)

Acquire the Fire

To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure how I feel about large Christian pep-rally-ish multiple-band "mega-events".

On one hand they seem to be a great alternative for Christian teens looking to scratch the "I'm part of something bigger" itch...but on the other hand I question if this is truly a grass-roots effort, or just some promoters trying to leverage a marketing ploy that works in secular markets.

Regardless of my personal misgivings, there is no doubt the message is clearly Christ-centered.

Here's a link to one of the better known events:

Acquire the Fire

Founding Fathers

I recently had the opportunity to serve on a jury in our county's Superior Criminal Court. I had never served on a jury, and I have to say it was eye-opening in many ways.

The case I was seated for was a domestic abuse case with a husband accused of assault and second degree kidnapping on his wife. Unfortunately, the case ended in a mistrial because one juror refused to believe the woman's testimony.

Regardless, the experience sent me on a web search for resources on teaching boys how to properly respect women. Needless to say, this a big problem in our society. I'll post several more links in the future, but for now, here's a great organization I found that gives visibility to this issue:

As a Founding Father, you are setting the example for generations of young men who will follow you. Your son, grandson, nephew, younger brother - all the boys in your life need your time, energy, and advice to help them grow into healthy young men. Through your guidance, they'll learn that real men respect women, that violence never equals strength, and that there is honor in taking a stand against violence.

Are you teaching your boys these things? If so, stop by the website and add your name to the "declaration".

Founding Fathers

Father Son Retreat

Here's the website for a father/son retreat in Florida that helps dads develop a deeper relationship with their son as they begin their journey towards manhood.

Teacher and counselor William T. Walker rightly points out that as a father you’ve made a commitment to yourself to do everything you can to help your son become the kind of man he’s capable of becoming.

From the website:

Journey to Manhood is designed to enhance your leadership role in your son’s life. Together with other fathers and their sons you will explore what it mean to be a man, how to communicate effectively, how to resolve conflicts in a win/win manner and the importance of building healthy relationships

The site looks really cool, but I need to point out that while the concepts fit nicely within a Christian world-view, I see nothing on the site that indicates it is Christian-based.

Father Son Retreat - weekend wilderness camp and retreat

Rite of Passage Parenting

Here's what looks to be a great book to read and site to explore concerning rites of passage. It looks like the author really digs into and explores what is at the core of rights of passage and attempts to teach willing parents how to build into their children''s lives the essential experiences every child needs.

If you are concerned about the effects of the current cultural chaos; if you notice in your children a lack of responsibility, the lack of a good work ethic, disrespect for authority; if you are worried that your children may experiment with false rites of passage-profanity, smoking, drugs, alcohol, body piercing, or sex-let Walker Moore show you how to provide the four essential experiences most children are missing.

ROPParenting

Building Honesty and Honor in Your Teen’s Life

Having a teen in the home necessitates constant vigilance to prevent the cultural norms of lying, anger, manipulation, and rebellion from creeping in. Will your teen demonstrate these behaviors and worse at times? Of course! But the quesiton is, will they become an accepted part of their life, or will you as the parent maintain a standard that does not accept those behaviors as normal in your family?

It is not always easy, and the onslaught of challenges sometimes seems overwhelming.

Here's a short article that reminds us of six simple steps to maintaining and even restoring that much needed standard.

LifeWay: Biblical Solutions for Life -
6 Steps to Building Honesty and Honor in Your Teen’s Life

I Am Husband (too)

I've heard it said that a new blog is created every half second...but I'd venture to guess that a very small percentage are by guys blogging about loving their wives.



Believe it or not, that's just what the new blog iamhusband.com is about.

Men are, by nature, forgetful creatures. We get settled into our routines and often forget that there is anything else going on in the world. As husbands we can forget that the "anything else" is often "someone else" and we end up hurting the feelings of the one we love most. Our marriage goes stale and we're not even quite sure what happened.

Check it out at: http://www.iamhusband.com/