Pure Warrior Ministries is dedicated to rescuing men from the grip fo secret sexual sin, and restoring and training them in Christian sexual purity. We minister through technology, educational workshops and recovery programs that communicate the saving and healing message of Jesus Christ to men and their families.
I’ve been working on the next set of manhood principles to impart to my oldest son…I always try to stay a little ahead of where he is so that I’m prepared for the next “stage”. I just read Boundaries with Teens and mined out some really good stuff that ties in with the other sets of principles I’ve already shared or plan to share.
Here’s the summary of five key transitions of maturity/manhood:
A man is relational, not alienated: He connects emotionally with others. He asks for help when needed. He gives help freely. He is vulnerable & open. He loves unconditionally. He works through problems with others, doesn’t just cut off communication.
A man is responsible, not immature: He takes ownership of his life, behavior, & attitudes. He doesn’t blame others for his problems. He shoulders responsibility as appropriate. He keeps commitments and follows through.
A man has self-control, not impulsiveness: His decisions are based on deliberate judgments, not impulses or desires. He does things that need to be done, even if he doesn’t “feel” like it. He develops his talents and passions. He is engaged in an upfront life, not nurturing secret sins.
A man is values-based, not peer-driven: He has standards and ethics; he doesn’t just go with the flow. He knows what he believes and why he believes it. He is anchored to a transcendent cause. No one “owns him” other than God. He is not a “yes man”.
A man is autonomous, not dependant: He is not dependant financially, emotionally, or spiritually on someone else. He is able to live freely on his own before only God. There is no need for him to be carried by others; although he is not threatened by receiving help from others (see #1). He sets his own goals, makes his own decisions, and solves his own problems.
The Dad Commandments
10 fundamental laws for fathers
By The Editors of Best Life
http://men.msn.com/articlebl.aspx?cp-documentid=4725718>1=10015
Fatherhood, you might argue, is too complicated to be reduced to capsule form. But complexity only adds intrigue to the quest for guiding principles. And do we need guiding principles. After all the emotions, all the yelling, and all the laughter, I have distilled the duties and demands down to a decade of Dad dicta. Herewith, on behalf of all God's children and their male parents, the 10 Commandments of Daddy.
1. Hey, Dad, be big
In spirit, that is. Consider some of the big guys who have gone before you: Father Time, God the Father. You can't give this role a walk-through. You've got to play it. The kids expect stature from you. You're the anvil on which they hammer out their deal with the world. Be a presence in their lives-and in their minds.
2. Hey, Dad, be small
Yes, this contradicts the first tip. Don't be so big that you suck all the air out of the room. Give your kids space to move around in, to test their thoughts and strengths. Take a backseat three or four times a week. Say, "Maybe." Say, "I don't know." Now and then, tell the kids you're sorry-assuming you behaved badly. You'll feel brand new.
3. Hey, Dad, come home
Lots of fathers have two jobs. If that's your situation, God bless you, pal. You'll get no heat from me. But if you can pay the bills without working double shifts, get home when you can. Nothing good can happen until you do.
4. Bob and weave, Bubba
Stay light on your feet. Don't make too many hard-and-fast rules. Don't insist on having your way with the kids just because the rest of the world isn't always overly interested in the sound of your voice. There is a difference between authority and power. Have the first; don't abuse the second.
5. Never dance in front of their friends
Remember the cautionary legend of the father who once picked his kids up at a junior-high dance and actually went into the gym and did a few seconds of the Hully Gully with Margie Costanzo. His adult children still have embarrassment nightmares.
6. Save your money, big man
If you're not careful, the kids will send you to the poorhouse three dollars and twenty-nine cents at a time. Think college tuition. Think down payment on their starter homes. Although it's true that money can't buy happiness, it can buy lots of other stuff.
7. Spend your money, tightwad
F. Scott Fitzgerald said the sign of a first-rate mind was the ability to have two opposite opinions at the same time. You're a first-rate mind, Dad. So spring for the glowing monster trading cards. If you've got the money, pop for the musical princess crown. What are you saving your money for, pal? College? Hah! You can't possibly save enough. There is the future, and then there is now. This is it.
8. Never go on a ride with the word whirl in its name.
Especially the Space Shuttle Whirl at the Great Escape near Lake George, New York. It's tougher to be a good father when your nervous system is permanently compromised. Stay on the ground and wave.
9. Let 'em be-they're not your second chance
We become most upset with the kids when they remind us of... well, us. Help them follow their own path, not your road not taken.
10. Love their mother
Hug Mom. Often. In front of the kids. Sure, sometimes marriages end, but the obligation to a woman doesn't. Be grateful to her. Speak to her with respect. Try to make her laugh. Listen. Figure out how to love her.
If you've ever tried your hand at creating a coat of arms for your family, you know it can be a little overwhelming to start out.
Armorial Gold 's clipart collection has thousands of images and provides you with all the tools you need to design a coat of arms. Their learning center has free resources including Family Mottoes, Heraldry History, How to Blazon, Heraldic Symbolism, the Heraldry Dictionary, and Heraldry Links.
Check it out at:
You’re not just imagining it: Christianity is short on men.
Church for Men is a ministry helping churches create an environment where men can thrive in every aspect of church life. Instead of creating a little outpost of masculinity called men’s ministry, they help churches unleash the masculine spirit throughout the organization.
The website has resources centered around the book Why Men Hate Going to Church.
The big news right now in homeschooling circles is the California Appeals Court ruling that almost all forms of homeschooling in California are in violation of state law.
Find out more about it, then head over to HSLDA.org if you homeschool and become a member if you're not already.
Eye contact is one of the most powerful means we have to express our feelings to our children. But men aren't always very good at it with their kids. Dads need to make a conscious effort to look at their children in a loving, positive way. Fathers can tend to sort of gaze at nothing, almost looking through things during a deep soul-to-soul conversation...
Even if the child is in the midst of misbehavior, we can still make pleasant eye contact with that child. It's something we can do continuously. Eye contact is a way to keep your child's emotional tank full of unconditional love. The parent looks into the eyes of the child while the child is looking back. It's very simple, but boy is it complex in the child's brain.
It's time once again to make a post about a daddy/daughter resource. The fact that I have to specifically point it out sadly speaks volumes. You see, our house is a "boy house".
As we look across the landscape of Christian families and Christian homes, there is one relationship which has been universally forgotten and forsaken -- that of fathers and daughters. God designed it to be one of the most beautiful and powerful relationships that we can experience. As we seek to see the Godly family restored, we must not ignore the special bond that God creates between every girl and her daddy. DAVID BARRETT, and his twenty-one year old daughter, ELYSSE BARRETT, want to see Christian families be all that God designed for them to be...and it starts with the restoration of a father's heart towards his daughter and a daughter towards her father! (Malachi 4:6)
