The Blessing

John Trent and Gary Smalley have taught and written about The Blessing for almost thirty years. On their website you’ll find tools and encouragement to help you understanding this powerful biblical concept, as well as pass the Blessing down to your loved ones.

[this] best-selling book offers a fresh, updated look at the life-changing gift the Bible calls “the blessing.” Many of us—perhaps unknowingly—spend a lifetime striving for this acceptance. The unconditional love and approval that comes with the blessing is an important element of our self-esteem and emotional well-being.

In The Blessing, Dr. John Trent tells of his search to receive the blessing from his father and the new insight—and deeper blessing—he received from God as he sought to pick up the pieces of his shattered dream. And Gary Smalley expands the concept of the blessing to include eight ways to bless adult children. “I never realized how powerful—and how necessary—the blessing has become to my older children until now. So if you have older children who have moved away from home, they’re never out-of-reach of the blessing.”

The Blessing is a powerful book no family should be without. Within its pages, readers will find solid, practical advice on how to be a blessing as well as how to insure that your parents, spouse, and children all feel the security of family approval.

The Blessing

Generations of Virtue

With a teenager son and a "tweenager" daughter, I am always looking for resources that deal with combating the cultural pressures around them. The constant flow of information through movies, music, tv, and peers gives a pervading message of relativistic values to our kids as the world tries to squeeze them into the mold.

As fathers, it is our job to protect them and anchor them to the Truth. But how do we do this without becoming isolationists, protecting them to the point that they are unable to cope when they leave the home and are on their own? Only by equipping and preparing them now to understand the difference will they be able to survive and even perhaps lead their peers to a higher moral standard.

Generations of Virtue is a non-profit, volunteer-driven ministry that equips parents to empower their kids for purity in our world today. We work closely with parents and teens as we provide them with classic and cutting-edge resources to fight the battle for purity.

It looks like they break down their book resources by gender and age to make it easier to find appropriate material. Also, they provide dvds, audio books, and purity jewelry. Check it out at:

Generations of Virtue

The Greatest Knight That Ever Lived

Because I use the metaphor of knighthood and chivalry with my boys as I teach them about biblical manhood, I have taken the time to do some research on medieval knighthood. You don't have to dig very deep before you come across a singular individual who influences our understanding of that era more than any other: William Marshal.

Proclaimed by both friend and foe as the "greatest knight who ever lived", William Marshal had an undeniable impact on the history and politics of England, but more importantly for our purposes he left a legacy of attitudes and actions that in many ways defines knighthood.

When he died, a kingdom mourned him, an enemy king wept for him but then, eventually, a world slowly forgot the man called "the flower of chivalry".

Here's a great site to learn more about this amazing man:

William Marshal, Earl of Pembroke
The Greatest Knight That Ever Lived

Rephrase the Praise

I'm going through the RMDK video training series right now at my church and loving it. This week's assignment was to tell my sons I am proud of them for specific traits. While this may seem easy at face value, even the way you give encouragement has a profound affect on your kids.

Here's a little article from FamilyEducation.com with some thoughts on how you can phrase your encouragement for maximum benefit:

Rephrase the Praise

So why are these so-called experts lining up (once again) to rain on your parenting parade?

For starters, because -- despite your best intentions -- you're telling your children that they are great because of what they do, not because of who they are.

And, because they are human beings, not human doings, our praise needs to reflect that.

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters

Having three boys I spend a lot of time focusing on father/son issues...but I also have a daughter that God has blessed me with. Finding resources for father/daughter issues is a little bit harder, that's why I am so excited about a book I just came across called Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Dr. Meg Meeker.

I am ordering the book and will post a review as soon as I am done, but in the meantime here are some videos of an interview with her (Below is part 1. There are 6 parts in total). Great stuff!

The Christian Samurai

Stumbled upon this book...looks very intriguing. In working on the manhood metaphor of knighthood for my sons, I have most often focused on the western medieval tradition. I have always had an interest in the samurai and the code of Bushido, however, I have shied away from it mostly because of the Zen overtones.

This book looks like it tries to reconcile, or at least circumvent the contradictions:

The samurai, whose very title means “one who serves,” were skillful warriors of feudal Japan who devoted themselves fully to the service of their masters, willing even to sacrifice their lives in service to their lord. Christians are also called by their Lord, Jesus, to take up their cross and follow Him, and to seek to lose their life for His sake (Matthew 16:24-25).

Author Paul Nowak ties the advice of these servant-warriors of old, pointing out how the selections from samurai texts relate to Christian teachings found in the Scriptures.

The book is a matchless resource for Christians intrigued by the mythos of the samurai or Japanese culture, or for pastors and other spiritual leaders who are looking for anecdotes that illustrate Biblical ideals

The Christian Samurai

G.I. "No" Joe

I have to admit that I never was a big G.I. Joe fan when I was a kid...I kind of missed out on that whole thing. Likewise, my boys are into Star Wars, Legos, and Heroscape...so there is no Joe in our house. However, even I can tell that the politically correct have gone too far on this one!

No longer will G.I. Joe be a U.S. Special Forces soldier, the "Real American Hero" who, in his glory days, single-handedly won World War II. In the politically correct new millennium, G.I. Joe bears no resemblance to the original.

Paramount has confirmed that in the movie, the name G.I. Joe will become an acronym for "Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity" — an international, coed task force charged with defeating bad guys. It will no longer stand for government issued, as in issued by the American government.

G.I. Joe to Become Global Task Force in Movie

Forging Ahead: Apprenticeship

Here is a good article from the Home School Court Report on the HSLDA website. It touches on an issue I have been thinking about a lot with my oldest son being a high school sophomore: apprenticeship. Even though I have a "high tech" job and hope that they will attend college, I think it would be beneficial for my boys to be exposed to labor trades and gain some practical vocational experience as well.

This article gives some history about apprenticeships in our country, explains what a modern apprenticeship looks like, and gives some practical tips on how to assess if it is the right thing for your child and how to find one if so. It has a homeschool slant, but really could apply to any high schooler.

Forging Ahead: Apprenticeship

Source of Sufficiency

Sometimes this fathering gig can get a little overwhelming. A lot of the time I have this creeping feeling of inadequacy for the job. Sure I can take care of the physical needs easily enough...food on the table *check*...roof over the head *check*...

But emotional and spiritual needs are a little harder. Meeting each of my four kids "where they are", understanding their hearts, and providing the guidance they need seems like a daunting task most days. Of course, in and of myself I am insufficient. That's why this verse from 2 Corinthians 3:5 is such an important verse for a modern-day dad to grasp:

Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God

2 Corinthians 3:5

As dads we must remember that God is the source of sufficiency to meet the needs of our children.

HeroDads

Here's a cool website with lots of products to jump start your "daddy time" with the kids. The pressure of our jobs and life in general can sometimes rob us of the wonder of true quality time with the kids....this website aims to provide tools to make it easier to capture those moments:

HeroDads came into existence for one purpose: to help dads become more heroic in their families’ eyes. By heroic we do not mean the empty, unattainable sense of a “Superhero” or a Hollywood action star. We mean it in the noble, achievable sense of a genuine commitment of a father to lead boldly and connect relationally with his wife, sons and daughters, by the help of God.

HeroDads - Tools and Strategies to Help Dads Become Heroes!

Good Deeds

Here's something I wrote up (borrowed heavily from the Scouts) for a class I was teaching of 12-14 year old boys about performing "good deeds". Really, you could introduce the concept to boys as young as 6 or 7.

Sometimes in the past I haven't emphasized this enough for fear of getting into a theological "faith vs. works" conundrum or falling in with the "random acts of kindness" crowd, but in practice I have seen that giving boys encouragement to perform good deeds only serves to help them form the heart attitudes that ultimately produce more good deeds.

Good Deeds

original inspiration here:http://www.inquiry.net/ideals/deeds/

The New Chivalry

TrueU.org is a community for college students who want to know and confidently discuss the Christian worldview. I found a good article there about "modern day Chivalry" which includes a list of common courtesies you can begin to put into practice at all times, toward all people. Our sons need to know these things!

To be a gentleman these days doesn't necessarily mean ruining your coat so your date doesn't have to walk across a puddle. It doesn't mean knowing which fork is the dessert fork, or whether or not you should put your elbows on the table. What it means is viewing people — all people — as the valuable human beings they are. It means treating people with respect out of reverence for Christ. In any situation, ask yourself: How would I want my grandfather to be treated? How would I want my future daughter to be treated? Then live out your answer.

The New Chivalry: How to Treat Women ... and Everyone Else