Over-committed and Under-connected

My wife and I have managed to get out for coffee and planning a couple of times over the last week, planning for the year. There is so much to do, and so little time to do it!

Here's a quick reminder from the latest All Pro Dad Play of the Day that really hit home. As leaders of our homes, we are the ones that have to be willing to set the tone for our families and have the courage to say "no" when there are too many things going on. And it may take courage...especially if your wife our kids don't agree with the assessment.

Read it, think about it, then make the change you need to make!

The two biggest issues modern families face are over-commitment and under-connection. Parents over-commit at work, at hobbies and even at church. Kids over-commit at school or piano lessons or athletics. What that means is less time as a family together and less relational connectedness.

To get better connected as a family, you have to spend more time together, which may mean reprioritizing current commitments. Strong families make their family time a top priority.

Tim Tebow is The Man

If you're not a Gator fan, you may not know the full scoop on quarterback Tim Tebow. He's definitely a great example of an athlete using his position to glorify God. Here's an overview:

• Timothy "Tim" Tebow (born August 14, 1987) is a college football quarterback for the Florida Gators.
• Tebow was born in the Philippines to Bob and Pam Tebow, who were serving as Christian missionaries at the time.
• While pregnant, Pam suffered infection with a pathogenic amoeba, and an abortion was recommended by her doctors. She refused, instead relying on her faith.
• All of the 5 Tebow children were homeschooled by their mother, who worked to instill the family's deep Christian beliefs along the way.
• In 1996, legislation was passed in Florida allowing homeschooled students to compete in local high school sporting events. With the rest of his family living on a farm in Duval County, Tim and his mother moved into an apartment in nearby St. Johns County, making him eligible to play for the football team at Nease High School.
• Tebow was considered one of the nation's top recruits and received a scholarship to Florida.
• He was the first college football player to both rush and pass for 20 touchdowns in a season and was the first sophomore to win the Heisman Trophy.
• Tebow spent the last three summers before enrolling at the University of Florida in the Philippines, assisting with his father's orphanage and missionary work and now spends his Spring Breaks continuing the work there (including performing circumcisions!)
• His contribution in the 2006 college football season was as a key reserve that helped the Gators win college football's national championship game for the first time since 1996.
• Tebow was featured prominently in an ESPN "Outside The Lines" feature on homeschooled athletes seeking equal access to high school athletics in other states. He argued in favor of extending the right to play for local teams to more states.
• Tebow's example inspired equal access supporters in Alabama to name their bill in the Alabama Legislature "The Tim Tebow Bill". http://www.timtebowbill.com/
• He is very vocal about his faith and has stated he wants to use football as a platform to reach others with the Gospel message. He always bears a testimony to Jesus Christ and gratitude and praise to God when interviewed on national television. He started a recent trend of putting Bible verses on the black strips under his eyes.
• He says his list of priorities, in descending order of importance, is faith, family, academics and football.
• He's playing in the College Football National Championship this Thursday 1/8/09. (I'll be at the game!!!)

Fathering Quotes

Let's start the year out with some great Fathering quotes:

"Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory. Give him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, and the meekness of true strength. Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, ‘I have not lived in vain.’"
— General Douglas MacArthur

"It is a wise father that knows his own child."
— William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), “The Merchant of Venice”, Act 2 scene 2

“Becoming Father the Nurturer rather than just Father the Provider enables a man to fully feel and express his humanity and his masculinity. Fathering is the most masculine thing a man can do.”
— Frank Pittman, U.S. psychiatrist and family therapist. Man Enough, ch. 12 (1993).

So often, as the septuagenarian reflects on life’s rewards, we hear that, “in the final analysis” of money, power, prestige, and marriage, fathering alone was what “mattered.”
— Kyle D. Pruett (20th century), professor, child psychiatrist.
The Nurturing Father, ch. 15 (1987).

“A father is a banker provided by nature.” — French Proverb

“A famous man is one whose children love him.” — Chinese Proverb

“Fathering is not a sprint. It’s a marathon.” — Paul Lewis, Founder, Family University

Q: When does a boy become a man? A: “When his father says he is!” —Burt Reynolds

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! I'm looking forward to a great 2009!

The Little Pink Card

Man, I wish I had known about this a week ago!

Here's some handy gift guidance for the husband who needs a little help when selecting a present for his wife...a camp I am firmly in!

This little card (found out about it on the Building Camelot blog) has all the essential info you need to make an informed purchase in the "heat of battle". Is it lame to have to consult a little card to know what perfume to buy your wife? Yes! But not as lame as not buying it all because of your own ignorance...

While I am not willing to pay $9 plus shipping to have a professional one made, I will be putting this little idea to good use with a DIY card for my wallet.

The Little Pink Card

Tabernacle Model Kit

While doing an online search for model kits to give the boys for Christmas, I stumbled on this cool kit. I doubt my boys would appreciate this under the tree, but I'm thinking this would make a great family project at some point, and a great way to teach the theology of the Tabernacle.

Tabernacle Model Kit

Imprint of a Godly Man

“An imprint of a godly man on the heart of a boy forms the contours and diagram of what he needs to become. This by the way explains the reason gangs are so prevalent in urban cultures. The numbers of fatherless boys far exceeds that in the suburbs…..and the pull toward violence/cruelty is amplified in these situations. Repeat teenage pregnancies and unmarried liaisons have produced streets filled with young boys desperate for a man’s guidance…..without nature to challenge; with limited places to release energy; without a father, grandfather, or positive male mentor, the boy views the streets as his proving ground….and the wretched cycle of violence, sexual conquest, abandonment of children, substance abuse, and irresponsibility repeats itself over & over again……and what has been the norm for fatherless children in the inner city is quickly becoming the norm in the heartland”

paraphrased from “Passed through Fire” by Rick Bundschuh

Marriage Alive

Here's another marriage and family educational organization, dedicated to providing resources and training to help congregations and community groups build better marriages and families.

Their teach-right-out-of-the-box marriage education program, 10 Great Dates is used by churches, community marriage initiatives and other groups around the country and internationally as a low- key, fun, male-friendly, yet skilled-based program that appeals to the masses and to couples in any setting.

I have not read the books or gone through the series, but it does appear to be Christian-based.

Marriage Alive Website

The Armor of God

Part of creating impactful ceremonies with your kids when conducting a rite of passage or manhood/womenhood ceremony is presenting them with a meaningful, valuable keepsake.

These can be as simple as a rock picked up along the path or as elaborate as a personalized, inscribed sword. If the item carries with it symbolic meaning and reminders of the principles that have been imparted, all the better.

Here are some great items I stumbled upon that fit this description wonderfully...all based on the Biblical metaphor of "The Armor of God". These would make a great gift at any age to remind your son that he is a warrior belonging to the Army of God.

I've seen the dog tag item in person and was impressed by the quality. Check it out:

The Armor of God products

The Perfect Present

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, and of course that brings the eternal question of what to get the kiddos. Although their lists are full of high-tech gadgets (even my 10 yr old wants an ipod!), I've been seriously considering going low-tech this year.

In fact, I've got an idea for the perfect present: The Stick. Here's an article about the classic toy, which recently landed in the National Toy Hall of Fame:

Curators said the stick was a special addition in the spirit of a 2005 inductee, the cardboard box. They praised its all-purpose, no-cost, recreational qualities, noting its ability to serve either as raw material or an appendage transformed in myriad ways by a child's creativity.

"It's very open-ended, all-natural, the perfect price -- there aren't any rules or instructions for its use," said Christopher Bensch, the museum's curator of collections. "It can be a Wild West horse, a medieval knight's sword, a boat on a stream or a slingshot with a rubber band. ... No snowman is complete without a couple of stick arms, and every campfire needs a stick for toasting marshmallows.

The lowly stick, a universal plaything